IS THIS DESIRE?
IS THIS DESIRE? (2021-2022)
Is This Desire? emerged from the passing of my father and the emotional labor that ensued. His hospitalization because of Covid-19, and the negotiation of a tense emergency situation with the rest of my family, reopened wounds and foregrounded feelings I had not experienced for decades. I found myself reflecting upon the devastating power of the throwaway comments and the dismissive glances that had defined my upbringing in subtle and yet fundamental ways. How gender implications and societal hostilities have led to the woman I am today, my fears, my anxieties, my tenaciousness.
With my father gone, I found that the only opportunity to renegotiate the terms of these subtle and yet traumatic circumstances lay exclusively between me and the materials of my art. Skins, membranes, shrouds, veils—each work emerges from the point in which language crumbles, and we struggle to grasp the meaning of our experiences. The gold draperies in Is This Desire? allude to the shiny veneer we each present to the world. Taught to play roles that please our parents and society throughout our childhood, our challenge as adults is to seek our true selves. The drapes are facades that conceal feelings and emotions we experience every day in the quietness of our own reflections. This series of works attempts to process and visualize the invisible pressures many women endure while conforming to the golden standard of stereotypical femininity.
FOLDS OF DESIRE
FOLDS OF DESIRE (2022)
The works featured in my solo show, Folds of Desire, emerge from the point at which language crumbles as we attempt to grasp the meaning of our experiences, those unpredictably awkward social exchanges, and unfulfilled hopes. The phone call that was never received, the explanation that was not provided, the glance that wasn’t followed, the email that remained unanswered—our everyday lives are made up of enigmatic and seemingly unimportant moments such as these. At times we shrug them off, at others, we take a bit longer to pretend they didn’t hurt. But one after the other, these small personal earthquakes reshape the emotional landscapes of our minds. Fleeting/causal moments that nonetheless end up defining our personalities, our self-esteem and our relationships with others define who we are.
Skins, membranes, shrouds, veils—we gloss the hurt with veneers the world wants to see. Through the manipulation of a range of materials, the works in ‘Folds of Desire’ attempt to visualize and process what we have been taught to hide and render invisible.
My series of sculptural pieces, titled Lupercalia, explores an ancient Roman pagan ritual of purification involving animal sacrifice in which women were beaten with dead animal skins to induce fertility. Interestingly, between the 15th and 16th centuries, the gore was rubbed off and replaced with sweet romance by Chaucer and Shakespeare who repackaged the violent ritual as Valentine’s Day.
My Lupercalia series summons the darker side of this festivity by reaching underneath the veneer that conceals the suffering and violence from which it originated. Each thin and yet resistant veil in Lupercalia is a manifestation of the anxiety, apprehension, and disquiet many feel as this day approaches along with its demands, expectations, and desires.
The series invites us to reconsider the heartache that is entailed in loving someone.
Painful memories return to haunt us and make it hard for us to forget. Through Suffocated, I perform a ritual steeped in materials and processes devised to bury memories by metaphorically suffocating them in a paper bag. 3D scanning and printing technologies allow me to leap from medium to medium and into the future where these memories are translated into abstracted sedimentations that can no longer be accessed or decoded.
THROUGH TO YOU
EYE SEE THROUGH TO YOU (2020)
A reflection on truth. These geometrical intersections made of plexiglass explore the material contingencies that bind fact to language and the points of intersection between the two: truth. The transparency of the material, the way light reflects through and on it, and the false planes and reflections that define the image explore the imaginary moment of realization in which truth is temporarily made visible as a connective principle.
LOVERS PAST (2019)
Each work in this series is a portrait of an ex. A partner not as they were, but as I remember them – shaped by my memories, my desire to remember them, or forget, my will to save something and not to let go despite the hurt, the disappointment, the loss. Now happy with the right partner, I look back at the others as abstract images of moods and moments, laughter and sorrow, traces and fragments. Still and silent, they stare back holding their secrets dear. Echoing one another.
WHAT COWBOYS DON'T HAVE
WHAT COWBOYS DON'T HAVE (2020)
A joke, a pun, an allusion. This diptych comprising a hanging sculpture and a painting is a conversation in pink across media; a chromatic dialogue in which folds and drips tell stories of absent characters and very present desires.
In my practice, painting and sculpture are parts of the same creative process. It was a few years ago that, while working on one of my paintings, I began to consider the possibility that paint could lift from the canvas and become its own expressive object, that it could be freed from its flatness to say more than it otherwise might. So, I look at these paintings as the beginning of a journey that has led me to where I am today.